is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
