i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
its liver damage thursday
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
