I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
