Kiss
Puke
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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