my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
