Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
