I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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