We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
