The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Houston, we have a squirter
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize