I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
