First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The uberlube is also flammable
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
