She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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