I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
