conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have already put on my inside pants.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
