I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
