if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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