i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
