other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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