1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My feet surprised me
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
