This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
