Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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