is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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