We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
