who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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