Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
