stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I need a burrito and a hug.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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