.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
