is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
