Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize