I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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