I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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