i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize