I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Can I color on your dick again?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
