i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
