hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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