I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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