You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
