Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
