she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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