I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
