I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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