I CAN MOONWALK!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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