Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
