dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
