i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
