we have officially lost it.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
