Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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