I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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