Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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