Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
