But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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