i think my tv is drunk
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
