He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
