Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
