Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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