I think scott just propositioned me for sex
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
