It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
