Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
