C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
